


P.S. I never told you, but I was falling in love

by rwdaf



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cancer, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, danandphil - Freeform, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 09:23:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13163982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rwdaf/pseuds/rwdaf
Summary: Dan was best friends with Phil who was blind and a previous cancer patient. When Phil dies, Dan writes a letter to Phil that he’ll never read.





	P.S. I never told you, but I was falling in love

Dear Phil,

You’ll never get the chance to read this since you aren’t here anymore. I wish you’d walk through the door right now and fall into my arms. We could sneak back onto the hospital roof and just lie there. You couldn’t see the sky let alone anything else so you had me tell you what it looked like. I didn’t mind, I loved doing it. I hate that I’ll never be able to again.  

-

_“Dan where are we going?” Phil giggled as I took his hand carefully and quietly led him up the staircase._

_“Up to the roof. Shh.” My cheeks turned a crimson shade of red, as I pushed the door open. I smiled slightly and led him farther towards the middle. Phil clung to my side and laid his head onto my shoulder._

_“What do the stars look like Dan?” He whispered as my arm wrapped around his waist tightly._

_“It’s like,” I look up towards the sky, “scattered moon dust in the sky. The stars are a simple polar white, but the way they flicker and glimmer makes up for it.”_

-

I remember the day you told me the cancer came back. You were, I don’t know, cheerful? It didn’t make any sense to me at all.

“I can do this.” You told me. “I’m a fighter and this is just gonna prove it.” You smiled so big, your tongue would poke through your teeth. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. It may be why I fell for you.

-

_His hand was in mine as we sat in his room. Bliss by Muse was playing softly in the background. Our legs are tangled together._

_“It’s back.” Phil spoke carefully before turning my way. Tensing up I pulled him closer and my eyes watered. “Dan, don’t be sad.”_

_“Phil y-you just said th-”_

_“I know.” He interrupted me. “But I’m strong. I can do this.” He smiled and moved slowly so he sat in front of me. Searching a minute he grabbed my hands and smiled wide. “I’ve beat this before. I can do it again Dan.”_

_“I k-know you can Phil.”_

-

It rained that night and I cried myself to sleep only to be woken up a few hours by thunder crashing. My fears came crashing down on me, a realization that you were sick and that there was a chance you would never get better.

Time was getting shorter and shorter with you. You couldn’t leave the hospital room anymore. You didn’t look the same. Your cheeks were hollow but your eyes still shone bright. They held that same cerulean color that I love still so so much that was infused with green and yellow. 

The next day your mom called me. You were gone and I couldn’t accept it at first. My heart was ripped from my chest and I sat in the hospital waiting room waiting. Waiting to be told you were okay, for you to walk out and just for everything to be okay. It just never was from then on.

There was a point to this letter, even though you won’t read this. You meant everything to me Phil and you always will. Maybe one day I’ll get to see you again and we can be together then for good.

It was a short time, but it was the best time I had Phil. See you again some day Lion.

~ Dan.

P.S. I never told you, but I was falling in love. I still am. I love you


End file.
